You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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