My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm always down for nudity.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
