First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
