so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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