I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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