i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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