If i come over, it means nothing
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
