You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize