i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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