my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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