No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
