insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We left an ass print on the piano.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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