i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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