splinters make it hard to masturbate
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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