yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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