bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize