I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
