No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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