im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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