Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
