I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
