His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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