I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize