hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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