My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
