we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
