Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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