The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
