Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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