I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
