I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
