its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
