I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
