wat bout pragnant strippers??
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
