I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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