I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
