I'm laying in your front yard are you home
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
