I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
