there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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