Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You need Xanax blowdarts
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
