Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
