Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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