Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
