My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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