It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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