You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
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