You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
