well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
