So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
