i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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