my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
