i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
