How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
