I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
