do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize