we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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