i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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