Nicole vs. Life
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize