I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
