Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
